Notwithstanding My Weakness

Often times as a missionary I feel inadequate compared to the task laid ahead of me. The Lord has called me to be his servant and has placed me in some very humbling circumstances. I have visited the home of a young widow who is struggling to find direction for her family. I have listened with broken heart to the remorse of a grown man who wished he had done different. I have been witness to the results of abuse and neglect that has impacted a women's whole world. 

As my heart breaks for the sweet people that The Lord has led me to, I feel I can do little more then pray. Pray that this gospel can find place in their hearts, pray that God will heal up their wounds and broken hearts. Never before have I really understood the responsibility to "mourn with those that mourn".

I think all of us feel that we fall short of what is expected of us. We compare our weaknesses that we are so familiar with to others strengths. We don't know how we can possibly fill the shoes of those who went before. Our only hope being that God will make up for our list of shortcomings.

Even prophets notice their weaknesses. Nephi persisted in a major task “notwithstanding my weakness.”(2 Ne. 33:11). Jacob, wrote of his “over anxiety” for those with whom he was not certain he could communicate adequately. (Jacob 4:18) Our latter-day prophets have met those telling moments when they have felt as if they could not meet a challenge. Yet they did. Teachings of the Prophets: Spencer W. Kimball tells this story,

"On July 8, 1943, President J. Reuben Clark Jr. of the First Presidency called Spencer at home. He said that Spencer had been called to fill one of the two vacant seats in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. To this, Spencer responded: “Oh, Brother Clark! Not me? You don’t mean me? There must be some mistake. I surely couldn’t have heard you right. … It seems so impossible. I am so weak and small and limited and incapable.” Spencer assured President Clark that there could be only one response to a call from the Lord, but his willingness to serve did not immediately overcome his feelings of

inadequacy and unworthiness.

"Those feelings intensified over the next few days, during which Spencer had little or no sleep. While he was in Boulder, Colorado, to visit his son, he went walking in the hills early one morning. As he climbed higher and higher, he reflected on the magnitude of the apostolic office. He was tormented by the thought that he might not measure up, that his calling might have been some mistake. In this frame of mind, he approached the peak of the mountain he was climbing, where he fell in prayer and meditation. “How I prayed!” he recalled. “How I suffered! How I wept! How I struggled!” As he agonized, a dream came to him of his grandfather Heber C. Kimball and “the great work he had done.” This awareness calmed Spencer’s heart. “A calm feeling of assurance came over me, doubt and questionings subdued. It was as though a great burden had been lifted. I sat in tranquil silence surveying the beautiful valley, thanking the Lord for the satisfaction and the reassuring answer to my prayers.” On October 7, 1943, at age 48,

Spencer W. Kimball was ordained an Apostle."

I know that The Lord qualifies those that he chooses!

I know that our weaknesses can become strengths through Him.